My Grandfather passed away two days ago. He had been feeling weak for a while. He was barely eating and also throwing up frequently. My mom was worried about his health, but I reassured her that he had not been diagnosed and could be perfectly fine. When she spoke to him on the phone, she felt even better because he didn’t sound too bad. He definitely sounded weaker than she is used to, but he sounded like he was alright for the time being.
I have a video up on Facebook of him and my mom dancing Salsa, killing it. This was less than two months ago, at Thanksgiving, so the idea of him passing away was not even near my thoughts. I went to sleep that night without a care in the world. At 5 in the morning, my mom was banging on my door yelling that my grandfather died, “Abuelo died. Papi died!”. In my head, I thought “Wow, this is a pretty quick nightmare. Straight to the point”. After I walked out of the room, hugged my mom, and sat down on her bed for a few minutes, it finally hit me that this was very real. There was no waking up.
I had a similar delayed reaction when I got my teeth knocked out in high school. No fight, no cool story behind it. I was just walking down the street and got punched in the mouth, randomly by some kids with nothing better to do on a Friday afternoon. The impact so so sudden that I didn’t realize my teeth had fell out until I ran 2 blocks and had a conversation with someone.
This is how my grandfather’s death hit me. Just like that fist. Random. Sudden. Unexpected. Instant. Some fair warning, but not enough to really worry. Unreal.
The rest of this story stops here, chronologically. This isn’t an entry about my family’s mourning of him. It’s about him, the man sitting down in the chair up there holding my aunt. That was my grandfather. That IS my grandfather.
My grandfather IS. No I don’t mean ghosts or religious theories. I mean that his spirit still lives through all those who knew and loved him. He can never full pass away because there are way too many people from The Bronx to Puerto Rico who know who the man in that picture IS. That is Roberto Garay. You cannot deny that our Abuelo (If I was his only grandchild, he would be mi Abuelo, but my cousins called him by the same name and he still lives through all of us, family and friends) is a handsome man .
He wouldn’t deny it either…lol. He was confident and proud. He wouldn’t even go to the bodega without combing his hair back, making sure the creases in his pants were perfect, and putting on his shades. He had to be the smoothest guy I ever knew. I’m not talking about fade, gold chain, Lexus, artificial, modern day urban colonialism (read a book) type of smooth. I’m talking fully suited up at all times, hair on point, cologne on point, hat to the perfect degree, holding the door open for a lady smooth. A gentlemen in the truest form, from a mold they stopped making a few decades ago.
I don’t fully believe in heaven and hell. I’m not too sure what happens when we pass away. But if there is some sort of after life, and I ever see my grandfather again, he’ll most likely walk over and laugh just like he always does and say “haha…mira quien es!”
Bendicion Buelo…We love you.
Just updated my fraternity (Sigma Lambda Beta International Fraternity, Inc.) chapter web page to add our newest Brothers. Being their Membership Educator was an amazing experience. It is also a very unique experience and I am very glad I had the OPPORTUNITY to take this position last semester.
Joining SLB has had such a large impact on my life and opened many doors. I have an internship which will soon turn into a job after I graduate if all goes as planned. I have a very good part time to get me through the rest of my college days. Both these opportunities have been given to me by Brothers.
Since the night me and my line brothers started the educational process, we have continuously been reminded that we really have no limits on what we can achieve with the right amount of heart, passion, and dedication.
I would have turned out fine without the fraternity. I was doing good in school already and was on the right track to graduating and getting into a good career. But I would have never gained the opportunity to develop incredible relationships with amazing and diverse people. Not just people who chose to pledge the same fraternity as me, but everyone who I meet through it.
Although superficial relationships tend to arise with social networks such as college fraternities and sororities, it is up to the individuals in these situations to identity what is superficial and act morally. With humility and honesty as your foundation, you can navigate through the potential pitfalls in these social circles to find very positive opportunities.
I could go on for a while about my fraternity, about my process and experience as a Brother and the positives I’ve experienced, but I would probably come off as just trying to recruit or big up my specific group. But the point, and a main thing I’ve left out, is that deciding to pledge was the biggest leap I’ve ever taken. I quit every sport I tried and never really looked forward to anything challenging. The only thing I really ever stayed dedicated to was school, but that’s only because it came so easy to me. Not that I’m necessarily the smartest guy out there, but the entire system of memorizing, doing assignments and test taking was easy to me.
So when it came to pledging, it was the first time I really wanted to do something and was dedicated. I honestly wanted to quit (drop) from the very moment we really started. The reasons why I didn’t drop and my experiences while going through our process is more private than I’m willing to write on a web site, but the rewards were more than I imagined.
And when you think about anything in life that is worth really having and holding, it is not easily obtained. In order to really achieve important goals that you have set, you have to be willing to accept the challenges that will come along the way. Is a marriage easy all the time? Is being a parent easy? Is organizing a grass roots company to truly help people an easy task? Is surviving a place like Camden and making it through Law School easy? Nope. The most rewarding things in life take work to get to. They take Sacrifice to get to. And as long as you have your goal firmly set, and you truly see a reason in what you are doing, then not one ounce of that sacrifice will ever be in vein.
Ok so this update of a web site I did just turned into a long free write. Changing title from “Rutgers NB Lambda Betas - TERROR Tau Alpha Chapter” to “Free Typing”
Carlos Santana
Mexican American Guitarist killing it in front of mad white people at Woodstock…all of whom were trippin balls
Playing one of the songs I grew up listening to because my dad loves Santana.
Converted into HD quality (Im an ITI major…this interests me)
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